Monday, 12 November 2012

And about him, no one cared.

As he crumbled down within the wrath of pain that wrangled in his body, they stood still looking keenly at him.
And when he broke down to the infallible pain, that crushed his control of hand, a part of his mouth, the walking and the posture, they still glared.
Then when he went to sleep, they cursed him for being responsible for all of it.
For being too bad a human, to suffer this. To being unjustified in his actions, towards them.
They cursed him till he cried in his sleep.
Instead of taking care, they are still pushing him lower and lower.
The wrath of time had meant that he wasn't as mentally sound as they were. He failed and coped and failed.
Till they declared him incompetant.
When he stood the odds, making choice of doing nothing, 'cause he couldn't, they blamed him for upholding insane actions.
Then, when he resisted, they took him to the doctor, who drugged him till he was drenched in this pain.
Downstairs, as I went to talk to him about the last letter he wrote to me, I was crushed while I looked at him.
Not my brother, but he has been my true brother in every aspect of time. From protecting me in kindergarten, to slapping the principal for my sake. He is more than just my brother.
The fuckin' society thinks he's a laughing stock, they can accept or reject him.
He can't keep track of me, so he writes letters. And whenever, I am home, he asks me to read them.
From petty issues of how his mother doesn't understand, (she being a divorcee, who lost her sanity in the pursuit of handling her marital relations, and gave birth to this brother of mine) and how, his nani (the grandmother) can't stop cursing him. How the two brothers often question his actions, and how he is subjected to the wrath.
The problem is, ever since my grand-father died, we live in dillusion, confusion, unhappiness. He was the reason the family had a stand. Now, we're like crumbled mash ups. Grandpa, A and I were really close. A and I literally lived a different life for years after grandpa died. We're in the same times again.
This time, the wrath is in the worst of the forms. They drugged him. I have no clue what it is. He lost the control of his body. He is crumbling. He couldn't speak, 'cause a part of his mouth was like differently stuck, his hands, both of them positioned themselves in a cornered way, and got stuck just like that, his legs..he couldn't walk, his body is in pain..entirely.
All he did was wrote me a message on the phone, that the doctor had asked the injection to be taken after 20 days, and today itself, they gave me the injection, ever since I cant do anything.
I couldn't do anything but stand struck back.
I asked him to sleep.. I cleared his bed, caressed his hair.. and apologised for having to subject him to this world.. I couldn't say how sorry I was.. I had gone to give him his diwali gift..
And I didn't do anything. I couldn't do anything.
I have never felt this powerless.
This much like a loser in every aspect.
Why can't I help it.

9 comments:

  1. How in the world, people enjoy hurting those who live with them and how those who truly care are helpless to change that! Although sometimes I feel we can always help. It could be sincere prayers to say the least. sometimes when we deeply want to help; our heart will give us solution to the action we should take. Listen to ur heart, it will tell u how u can help

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  2. :( pain n anguish....there is just so much of that in ouer world...

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  3. That is so sad...I'm really sorry, you've to go through all this...
    I hope things turn out better soon.

    Take Care of yourself and him

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  4. I could feel the pain here ... hope things would turn out fine soon ... do take care !!!

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  5. That is pretty sad, I hope everything gets better!

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  6. The unfulfilled desire to connect and restore is palpable in this piece. Beautiful writing.

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  7. How dreadful!

    www.anucreations.blogspot.in

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