Thursday, 27 June 2013

Cancer and I.

They said many things.
I was eight when they first told me about it.
I wasn't going to be the victim, but someone who meant everything was.
I didn't know that it was going to change everything for me.

Not that it was contagious, but it's repercussions were going to be.
It's like the family was going down, like some doom was emerging.
I remember I didn't understand what it was, or how it ever entered the family.
None of us could do anything about it.
We were now to face it.

It had the ugliest face to itself.
Walking across the Hospitals, it started with a rushed crowd, everyone was in an emergency.
There were gowns of the sick, no smiles, green color, white coats, strechers, dropping glucose and blood bottles, unmatched slippers, hushy cries, people siting in silence and a lot of pain.

 I remember, they sat across the table from that lady doctor.
She checked on her, saying it was getting better, while she was all drenched in pain.
Then there were hours of being admitted, with him sleeping on the couch to lay by her.
Millions of wires connected across her body, I could hear her breathing.
She woke up, telling me to ignore everything and look across the window, to the match our country was winning, in the stadium within the glaring heat.

Then there was this operation, lasting 11 hours. We stayed at a relative's place.
My grampa used to tell me, that this is the last thing, it will make her perfectly fine. I stood there, in that house, looking onto the balcony, across to a family in the window. They were eating lunch together. I counted on my fingures the number of days since we four had had our meals together.
For that one minute, my heart just wanted to live with her, without the cancer in picture.

Not that she's cancer free today, but today, Cancer is not in the scene. It still lies in her body, but she has taken control now.

I hope this is it Cancer. I never wish to face you again.


  1. what doesn't kill you, makes your stronger.

  2. As someone who has a close family member stricken with cancer, this really resonated with me. Thank you for writing this.

  3. I have seen this cancer devastate many families... sometimes it even strenghthens them.. :-/

  4. It is always painful.One of my friend has had many cases in her family and she os afraid she might have it one day.But out of it she has her mother taken away by this and she has one member of her family fighting against it currently.I really don't know how it feels but i can sense pain in her voice everytime this topic is raised.
    God bless whosoever is affected and i would like to repeat the last lines of your post
    I hope this is it cancer.

  5. Wish cancer was just a zodiac sign

  6. Cancer is the proof that there is no God. Why would he allow that?


  7. in fact no one wishes to...

  8. cancer! its hard and painful, only those who have gone through it can actually know its have expressed it quite nicely.

    you blog is quite good!
    am following it.... :)

    you are welcome to mine as well :) hope u'll find it good

  9. Cancer is an asshole! I hope you've seen the back of it for good :)

  10. Look at the optimistic side- the person has got the chance to make his all wishes come true before she can die. Even we get a chance to say goodbye...
    But only those who really suffer know what it's like to deal with it..

    1. The focal point is not dying, its living. There's a lot of difference in the perspective in view.

    2. hmm..that's not what I meant..

  11. You are so strong and so positive! I love the way you write! Keep it up :) Can't wait to read more of your posts!

  12. So many have it now. :( But I am glad they all come out stronger! RESPECT!

  13. This post touched me..

  14. you are a strong person! Now 20years old and writing on the subject of cancer. I was just going thru different blogs that seem interesting to me and yours just catch my eye. I usually don't leave a comment but I was combled to do so. Sorry about my spelling. I am a 52 year old who is dealing with cancer myself I to have a blog thru goggle like yourself. I got the nasty in 2004.Many surgury's and now in 2013 I am still taking Meds to keep the nasty from coming back. I don't think I will ever be compeltey free of the cancer but 'I life life as one day at a time and enjoy the time that I have. I hope and bless you too that you have a awesome life you. Wendy Yukihiro a follower of you blog. and I hope you might have a look at my.