Thursday, 18 July 2013

Fix you.

Dreams are those manifestations  of reality of which we know we want to be a part of, yet something holds us back.  In my case, it's the truth or reality.
Understanding that these are the deepest hidden faith bound dreams is the hardest.

Chasing school buses for  being late was who I used to be as a teenager. I was the today's self running behind the school bus, with a few friends following me. As we rushed inside to find a place to sit, all that I could see was the empty last second seat on the left, the place I've chosen irrationally in every school bus I've ever stepped foot on. As I kept my bag down on that seat and making sure K had a seat behind me I adjusted to open the window.

 As I glared across the bus my eyes got stuck at the side smile of a boy sitting two places ahead of me. I saw a dimple flashing occasionally in a conversation with someone he was sitting with. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at him. I kept staring. He left his seat and came to sit beside me. It felt like I was looking at this face after a very long time, he gave me a hug and all I could do was cry. He said that death was a prank that lasted longer than it should've, and that he was always there! I pushed him away with a slight force,that's when he started laughing at me, that long lost laughter. 
 Then I rested my head in the shoulder I've loved the most. 

#On losing something you can't replace.
It's been 1283 days. 3 years, 6 months 6 days. And there hasn't been a day I haven't thought of him.

Thursday, 4 July 2013

Turning 20.

The second decade of my life just ended. It's difficult to understand this.
Five years behind the line, the picture of today was beautiful. It's different now.
The people I had in mind, to a large extent have drifted apart; others have come close too.
As I woke up to the thought of a really bad day to look forward to (being an anti-birthday person),
I wanted to go alone to some place of peace and quiet. I wanted those old friends to be around, grab a beer and day dream.
I did not have the day to myself, but it's better that way.

Depression seems to have lost it's course in my ride. That way, I'm glad.
I'm doing what I love to do, that is explore, so I'm not carrying any bag of regret. Happiness was a choice, I've jumbled up my pieces.

All the why's I had in mind, gradually disappeared, new one's have found place. It's practically bliss!
When I was 16, I wanted to make sure that when I was twenty, and ahead, I only wore Black or White. I'm pursuing law, wanting to be a Judge. 99 per cent of me is black!
I wanted to figure how things worked, so reading is my best friend!

I'm happy. I'd like to stay that way for a while now.
#GoodBye 20th twenty ninth June. We've made it across the two third line!