Fix you.

Dreams are those manifestations  of reality of which we know we want to be a part of, yet something holds us back.  In my case, it's the truth or reality.
Understanding that these are the deepest hidden faith bound dreams is the hardest.

Chasing school buses for  being late was who I used to be as a teenager. I was the today's self running behind the school bus, with a few friends following me. As we rushed inside to find a place to sit, all that I could see was the empty last second seat on the left, the place I've chosen irrationally in every school bus I've ever stepped foot on. As I kept my bag down on that seat and making sure K had a seat behind me I adjusted to open the window.

 As I glared across the bus my eyes got stuck at the side smile of a boy sitting two places ahead of me. I saw a dimple flashing occasionally in a conversation with someone he was sitting with. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at him. I kept staring. He left his seat and came to sit beside me. It felt like I was looking at this face after a very long time, he gave me a hug and all I could do was cry. He said that death was a prank that lasted longer than it should've, and that he was always there! I pushed him away with a slight force,that's when he started laughing at me, that long lost laughter. 
 Then I rested my head in the shoulder I've loved the most. 

#On losing something you can't replace.
It's been 1283 days. 3 years, 6 months 6 days. And there hasn't been a day I haven't thought of him.


  1. Once again you knock it out of the ball-park. Very very sad post but you write of the pain so eloquently and make is feel it with you so that you're not grieving alone.

  2. Oh my gosh... this brought tears to my eyes... it's so sad and so wonderfully written... As Keith stated above... you are not grieving alone :(

  3. It's beautiful how attached humans can be to each other.

  4. This is so moving and sad. Soulfully portrayed.

  5. no wonder it fixes!
    no wonder your memory is still vivid..

  6. Great post...well written..
    Was blog hopping when i saw your blog
    My blog-
    Can we follow each other?
    Following you :)

  7. We have no control over our emotions , do we?
    Its a beautiful post...and its true, you're not grieving alone.

  8. If only the thin fine line of dream and reality could be broken and you could touch the dream as if it were real.I don't know how much would it pain for a loss like this but then time gives you alternatives not so strong agreed but something else to explore and fall in love with again!

  9. I can't comprehend how important this person might be to you but I am sure that the importance is so much that you always feel his absence. That is tremendous.

  10. You are never grieving alone.

  11. I guess I haven't told you that I have awarded you at my blog. I hope you will like it. Please check it out. :)

    PS: Following you. :D

  12. Some losses are irreplaceable. But the memories help tide it over and start afresh.


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