"...maybe we have to break everything, to make something better of ourselves."
So, why is it that you don't stop?
I love to not stop. To keep dreaming, to work harder, in fact hardest, not just mentally, but also physically, till I'm full of pain and scratches, till I've done justice to my definition of Everything.
I used to tell myself that the truth behind it is to run away, from those thoughts that make me want to kill myself, but this version is not as apt as the real one.
The real one?
Yes, the real one is happiness. Work makes me happy, I'm choosy of course, but I've known myself enough to now pick up the right set of things. I make others happy, this makes me happy.
Then why run away from some? ignore some? avoid some?
Choices. This path of happiness is very difficult to maintain. I have to choose the right ones that live along the same lines. This comes with a price. I think I pay for it.
Still caught up in the infinite hatred for yourself?
I have changed. Way too much. I love myself now. Took me a while to realize this though, but apart from you, I love me as much and a few more lovely people.
Sometimes, we're a part of such a transition, that looking behind isn't an option anymore. I think I have all of you, to thank, for that. Thank you.